Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
