Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
