she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
