Porn is love you can see.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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