Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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