Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
