Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
