bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
