Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
