Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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