guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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