You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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