I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He passed out mid-signature
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
