I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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