So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
