is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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