it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
