the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
