porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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