he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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