the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
