I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
false alarm, still single
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
