Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
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