He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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