Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
