I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
