I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
