Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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