Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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