I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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