Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
