grandma shit on top of the toilet
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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