How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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