Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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