I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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