i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
