his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
