What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
