Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I think my vagina is haunted
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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