Ambien. No doubt about it.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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