Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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