Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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