Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
