Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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