Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
then he tried to convert me to islam
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
