Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Ladies don't puke and tell
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
