I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
