Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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