When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
