if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
