thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You're so nebulous sometimes
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
