My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
