I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Randomize
